Shiver

Tonight while doing some homework I decided to watch my dv-r'd most recent Girls (HBO) episode. As I sit in my loft half listening & half squinting my eyes at my laptop I suddenly stopped typing.

***Spoiler alert, ya'll***

A month of Hannah & Adam being apart and he already has a new girlfriend that he moved into their apartment. I know, I felt  connected to Hannah's heart instantly. I know, she is fictional..but I felt for her...& instantaneously I flashed back to my relationship with JY. Those feelings erupted in me and I started to become a little teary eyed. It wasn't until that very moment did I realize just how much that relationship did break me. I could never truly admit how much it did break me, because I really didn't believe that it did. I knew that it hurt me, I remembered the pain I felt...but I just never grasped how much it really impacted me.

You see, I became teary eye because I remember how it felt to feel that much pain..& even though I am in a happy place with a man that loves ME...it reminded me that anything could happen. Anything. At the end of the episode the credits started to roll and this song began to fade in-



I, then, found myself sobbing. Lyrics....those goddamn lyrics tugged at my heart strings. I'm sorry, not tugged, they yanked the shit out my heart strings.

I'm not sad, though. It made me feel alive all over again.

Now, excuse me...while I crawl into bed with the man of my dreams.